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CRAZY ENGLISH

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Two examples that demonstrate the frustration experienced by
non-native speakers attempting to master the English language



I take it you already know
Of tough and bough and cough and dough?
Others may stumble, but not you
On hiccough (hiccup), thorough, slough and through
Well, don't! And now you wish, perhaps,
To learn of less familiar traps.
Beware of heard, a dreadful word
That looks like beard but sounds like bird.
And dead, it's said like bed, not bead,
For goodness sake don't call it dead!
Watch out for meat and great and threat
They rhyme with suite and straight and debt
A moth is not a moth in mother
Nor both in bother, not broth in brother.
And here is not a match for there,
Nor dear and fear, for bear and pear.
And then there's dose and rose and lose--
Just look them up--and goose and choose
And cork and work, and card and ward
And do and go, then thwart and cart,
Come, Come! I've hardly made a start
A dreadful language? Why man alive!
I'd learned to talk it when I was five.
And yet to write it, the more I tried, 
I hadn't learned it at fifty five!!

(Source Unknown)


He could lead if he would get the lead out.
A farm can produce produce.
The dump was so full it had to refuse refuse.
The soldier decided to desert in the desert.
The present is a good time to present the present.
The dove dove into the bushes.
I did not object to the object.
The insurance for the invalid was invalid.
The bandage was wound around the wound.
They were too close to the door to close it.
The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
I shed a tear when I saw the tear in my clothes.
I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

(Source Unknown)


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